You never knew a father who sat you down to give you instructions in life. You bellowed because you didn’t know how to express your love. Yet, I knew that you loved me. I would get so angry when I had to do things that the boys weren’t expected to do. My heart would boil with the unfairness of it. How naive and spoiled I was. I didn’t see the hard work you did for us. Without a college education you still rose in the ranks of your company and did your job well. We were well provided for, without a care for our daily needs. We never knew want of any necessity.
The night you held my hand in the car during a thunderstorm was so out of character, and I let you because I sensed it was a real attempt at closing the gap between us. It seemed to be your way of holding on to me so I wouldn’t grow up and away from you.
Your question on my wedding day – “are you sure you want to do this?” was your way of showing your love and concern. The practical way you enunciated “Her mother and I” filled me with tender amusement. I didn’t understand then the feelings you had for your little girl who thought she was all grown up. As a teenager I thought you were callous to mom and that I would not want a man like you for my husband. Yet, a few short years later I chose a boy/man who was like you in many ways. He is a good provider and sometimes awkward with his daughters. He likes sports and doing yard work. And, like you did, he has mellowed over the years. You and mom had over forty years together and I saw how your union was strong until the end. I saw that you were a part of each other, a whole together, one flesh. I thank God for His mercy to me.