Avetts in October # 16: I have some better words now

 

Me and Mom

 

Don’t know which I love most: No Hard Feelings or Through My Prayers. Post #15 was about Mom. This one’s for Mom, too.

 

 

“Now all my thoughts about them start with knowing they are gone.”  from Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry

 

The pages of the calendar kept turning away
I have some better words now, but it’s too late to say them to you…

And yes I know you loved me I could see it in your eyes
And it was in your struggle and it was in your mind
And it was in the smile you gave me when I was a kid…

-Through My Prayers

 

 

 

 

Avetts in October #15: Strange to Myself

 

In anticipation of The Avett Brothers concert on October 25th, I am writing a series of blog posts connecting some of their lyrics to words of some of my favorite authors.

 

“After she died, things seemed to go out of focus for awhile, and I felt strange to myself.”-from Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry

 

Every night after and every day since

I found myself crying when the memory hits

Sometimes it knocks me down, sometimes I can just put it away 

-Through My Prayers

 

I could have penned all these words exactly after Mom died in 2018, and still today. I would have never thought to say “I felt strange to myself” but that is a perfect way of putting it. Sometimes still, the memories knock me down and I imagine they always will.