Solitude

California, 2018

“‘But people are never alone now’ said Mustapha Mond. ‘We make them hate solitude; and we arrange their lives so that it’s almost impossible for them ever to have it.’” – from Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

So many people have been forced to figure out how to be alone this past year. For those who have never liked being alone, those who crave companionship, those who hate solitude, it’s been hard. Indeed our lives are so often arranged: work, playdates, sports, meetings – it’s hard to find time for solitude. I wonder how many people figured out they liked a little time alone. How many took the time given them to slow down and just be in the moment.

I must confess I have much to work on here. It wasn’t the “pandemic” that forced me to be alone, but the loss of my husband. I fear I didn’t always make the best of my newfound solitude. It’s not easy. But if it was easy, I’d never learn and grow. If it was easy, I’d have to question why.

For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. – Ecclesiastes 4:10

By and By

“Oft our cherished plans have failed
Disappointments have prevailed
And we’ve wandered in the darkness,
Heavy hearted and alone;
But we’re trusting in the Lord,
And, according to His Word,
We will understand it better by and by.”   -  Charles Tindley

I sang this song in my youth. What did I know then about cherished plans? Or being heavy hearted and alone? By God’s grace, not much.

But, I know now. I know how cherished plans can so quickly fail.

“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit’;  whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.  Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.”  – James 4:13-15

And I know I’ll understand it better by and by.

^” A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;” – Ecclesiastes 3:4

Truer Than True

 

 

I love to read statements made by authors (or their characters) that are even more true today than when they were written. The following examples are some that have jumped out at me in the past couple of years. I have ordered them backwards chronologically.

⇒  “I wouldn’t be surprised if a show about nudists was a hit…_ “ – I Still Dream About You by Fannie Flagg (2010) 

Now we have Dating Naked, Naked and Afraid, and a host of others

⇒  “Look at television, Father had said- Dad is shown as a dummy who stumbles around and breaks things and gets into trouble, usually to be rescued by a small child or a pet. Children watch hours of this junk every week.” – Lake Wobegon Days by Garrison Keillor (1985)

A 2001 study by Erica Scharrer in the Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media found that the number of times a mother told a joke at the father’s expense increased from 1.80 times per episode in the 1950s to 4.29 times per episode in 1990.

⇒  “We aren’t persecuted very much nowadays, we Christians, at least not overtly. But in point of fact there is a good bit of sub-rosa persecution, ridiculing if not reviling. In children’s books, death and sex used to be taboo, Now death and sex are “in”, and Christianity is the new taboo; other religions are appreciated, Buddhism, Hinduism, the pre-Christian Druidism; Christianity is not tolerated. And not only in children’s literature. It has been made taboo by those who do not understand it … of course we intelligent people don’t need God and we certainly aren’t interested in the cross. Only those poor people who aren’t strong enough on their own go in for the false promises of religion. – The Irrational Season by Madeleine L’Engle (1977)

All I can say is this is even more prevalent today than ever before. I see it not only in children’s literature, but on TV programs, in the news, on social media.

⇒  “We have – particularly in the United States, particularly in the suburbs – allowed ourselves to live in a child-centered world; the children have become more important to the parents than the parents are to each other; and suddenly the children grow up and leave the nest and the parents find themselves alone with each other, and discover with horror that there is nobody there.” – A Circle of Quiet by Madeleine L’Engle (1972)

Wow! It was surprising to me to hear her talk about a child-centered world in 1972. Today’s world is even more child-centered, from play-dates and birthday party productions to travel sports teams.

⇒  “When a city begins to grow and spread outward from the edges, the center which was once its glory is in a sense abandoned to time. Then the buildings grow dark and a kind of decay sets in; poorer people move in as rents fall, and small fringe businesses take the place of once flowering establishments.” – Travels With Charley by John Steinbeck (1961)

I’ve seen this happen in Jacksonville and have seen the results of it in Birmingham. Both of these towns have and are making efforts to bring people back to the city centers.

⇒  “Today, the language of advertising enjoys an enormous circulation. With its deliberate infraction of grammatical rules and its crossbreeding of the parts of speech, it profoundly influences the tongues and pens of children and adults.” – An E.B. White Reader, from the chapter titled “Prefer the Standard to the Offbeat “ by E.B. White (1959).

Here are some examples of intentional infractions in advertising:

“More power. More style. More technology. Less doors.” – Mercedes breaks the grammar rule that says “less” is used with mass nouns and “fewer” with countable nouns: “Door” is a countable noun; ergo, we’re obliged to say “fewer doors.”

“For hair and/or body, or both.” (Old Spice)

“Got milk?”

 

 

Wonder #3

 

In Season 5 of Wonder Years, Kevin is in 11th grade. One episode refers to “The No-Man’s Land of Public Education“. Sometimes this is where I find myself when I’m subbing. I’m a teacher, but not a teacher. Many days I feel like a glorified babysitter, and that’s not what I want to be. I try to be an authority figure as well as a friend to the students. I strive to be pleasant, knowing that for some kids school is their safe place. But, some days, I just see this broken system and feel helpless.

“Nothing seems to fit anymore” – this thought from the same  episode is one I can relate to on many levels. Literally, as I am fighting my clothes these days. Figuratively, as I once more face a summer with no work. My drive to be a teacher may never go away, but I just can’t see my way to going back full-time. My drive to write will never go away, but I can’t find a way to steadily earn money with my writing. Even being a mom doesn’t fit the way it used to. But, to everything there is a season.

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven – Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

 

 

Wonder Years Fun Fact:  KEVIN AND WINNIE’S FIRST KISS WAS THE REAL THING.

If Today Was a Movie

If your day today was a movie, what movie would it be?

Some days, I’d like it to be BEGIN AGAIN. Because, sometimes I would like to start all over and do things differently. I’d be more aware of other’s feelings. I’d say things differently, not like a know-it-all. I’d get up earlier and go for a walk. I wouldn’t waste so much time on meaningless things.

But…

That which has been is what will be, That which is done is what will be done, And there is nothing new under the sun. – Ecclesiastes 1:9

B’ham June 2015

Well, I can’t begin again, but let me recommend this movie, BEGIN AGAIN, starring Adam Levine,  Keira Knightly, Hailee Steinfeld and Mark Ruffalo. The movie came out in 2013 but I just saw it this year. It’s not just a chick flick; my husband actually liked it, too.  I enjoyed the story and music is a big part of it. You should check it out!