Guilt and Going On

sunset kw

Key West – 2008

…my faith is so frail and flawed that I fall away over and over again from my God. There are times I feel that He has withdrawn from me, and I have often given Him cause…

So I struggle with my theology of failure and the Noes of God.

from The Irrational Season by Madeleine L’Engle

These words resonate with me. But, I have to think that it isn’t that God has withdrawn from me but that I have withdrawn from Him. That’s not to say He doesn’t have reason to withdraw and leave me in the dust. There is no reason to keep pouring into me. But He does. He gives me more grace. And sometimes I don’t even realize it.

Grace comes to us at different stages in our spiritual pilgrimage, and it accomplishes different effects and evokes different responses. But it is all grace. – Steve Harper

I not only struggle with failure but with guilt and doubt. I long to know confidence. That No from God, His holding back of my confidence, must be for my good. I need to use that No to stay humble, but not to doubt. To draw near and to go on.


Confidence and Clerihews

I’ve loved ABC books and A-Z lists for quite a while. As a teacher I’ve used the A-Z idea for brainstorming new topics, for studying, and for writing. This  post is one in a series on writing, with the subtopic of poetry.

C is for Confidence

“Believe in yourself and your writing. No one else will if you won’t.” – Jenny Gardiner, author of seven books.

I need more confidence in my writing. I also need more confidence when going out to interview and/or photograph for an article. I know I’ve written some good magazine articles, but I also know some of them could have been a whole lot better. The same with my photos. What has given me  me hope in the past  is a publisher I worked with for over a year. She liked my stuff. Granted, it was a small publication, but it was a very good start for me. I’ve even had one photo used on the cover, which was unexpected and thrilling.

Once I interviewed a contractor/design team, a husband and wife, for an issue which focused on real estate. I had the publisher meet with us, also, because I thought they might buy an ad and that’s not my field of expertise. They took us to a home that I was going to feature in the article. It was a 6.5 million–dollar home. Absolutely fabulous! I got some great pictures and wrote the article. I was excited to see this one in the magazine, but in the end the homeowner pulled the plug and we couldn’t publish the article. Talk about disappointment! Even so, I learned a lot and gained confidence in my writing and photography skills

C is also for clerihew, a comic verse made of two couplets and a precise rhyming scheme, aabb invented by Edmund Clerihew Bentley (1875-1956) at the age of 16. The poem is about a person/character. In most cases, the first line names a person, and the second line ends with something that rhymes with the name of the person.

One of the most remembered Clerihew from Bentley’s collection is:

Sir Humphrey Davy

Abominated gravy.

He lived in the odium

Of having discovered sodium.

Here is my attempt:

The man Vincent Van Gogh

Painted The Scream, oh no!

First a preacher, then an artist became

The art world would never be the same.