Texts from the past #2: far away

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February 14, 2018

“I feel far away from you. Are you going to buy a dress? Need some help? I love you.”

This was two days after Mom died. We came to Jacksonville to make preparations. I was with my brothers and Chuck was with his. I did buy a dress – a little black dress. He came along and helped me decide. I often called on him to help me decide; usually it was which shoes to wear. I’d put on one of each, stand on one leg and then the other while he pondered and gave his verdict. He was a pretty good judge of shoes.

So many words from the posts I wrote after Mom died I could write again now…

So I live out my days without them (him). I take Ruby now on my adventures and listen to lots of music with my husband. (alone). https://angie5804.wordpress.com/2019/07/22/thoughts-inspired-by-my-grandmother-asked-me-to-tell-you-shes-sorry/

“After she  (he) died, things seemed to go out of focus for awhile, and I felt strange to myself.”-from Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry  https://angie5804.wordpress.com/2019/10/15/avetts-in-october-9-strange-to-myself/ 

“Now all my thoughts about them (him) start with knowing they are (he is) gone.” from Hannah Coulter by Wendell Berry  https://angie5804.wordpress.com/2019/10/16/avetts-in-october-10-i-have-some-better-words-now/

Last year was hard. This year seems harder. https://angie5804.wordpress.com/2019/12/18/magic-or-meaning/

Death holds many life lessons. I am learning still from Mom, though she’s been gone almost two years. She kept the important stuff: photos, letters, family documents and genealogy papers. She let go of replaceable stuff. https://angie5804.wordpress.com/2020/02/04/life-lessons/

Today is our 41st anniversary. I can’t help but think of my parents who had 41 years of marriage. Less than two months later Dad was gone. I didn’t realize then just how young he was, just 63. https://angie5804.wordpress.com/tag/mom/ 

I feel far away from you… I love you.

2 thoughts on “Texts from the past #2: far away

  1. Your post brought to mind the song Long ago and far away. It ends with:
    Just one look and then I knew that all I longed for long ago was you.
    Your children were blessed to have parents who truly loved each other and truly are Soul Mates.
    Love,
    Judy

    Sent from my iPad

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